BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

STATEMENT OF THE CENTURY

Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.

"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

Don't blame me. Blame Erika if you wish, but I don't blame her at all, because I laughed.

TWO STORIES OF THE DAY

PESKY GROWTH

I finally got to exactly where I wanted to
be, she said, so why won't all these
growth experiences go away & leave me
alone?

GRIEF

standing alone in her grief for as long as
it takes to remember it is also a thing
that binds us together

From StoryPeople.

ROMAN CATHOLIC BISHOPS DON'T LIKE THE PRESIDENT'S TWEAK

The Vatican

From the New York Times:

The nation’s Roman Catholic bishops have rejected a compromise on birth control coverage that President Obama offered on Friday and said they would continue to fight the president’s plan to find a way for employees of Catholic hospitals, universities and service agencies to receive free contraceptive coverage in their health insurance plans, without direct involvement or financing from the institutions.

The Roman Catholic Church will take matters to the courts, and they will call upon Congress for relief from their oppression.

Already three lawsuits have been filed against the birth control mandate, two by religious colleges and one by a Catholic media outlet.

The bishops will also renew their call for lawmakers to pass the “Respect for Rights of Conscience Act,” which would exempt both insurance providers and purchasers — and not just those who are religiously affiliated — from any mandate to cover items of services that is contrary to either’s “religious beliefs or moral convictions.”

Whoa! Internal divisions are developing.

However, the bishops are now facing a potential rift with some of their allies who welcomed the compromise yesterday — including Catholic Charities, the Catholic Health Association, which represents Catholic hospitals across the country and individual Catholic Democrats and liberals who had helped persuade the administration to make the change.

James Salt, executive director of Catholics United, a liberal advocacy group that is organizing support for the Obama administration, said, “The bishops’ blanket opposition appears to serve the interests of a political agenda, not the needs of the American people.”

It's about time!

Is it possible that President Obama will offer further concessions to bullying, celibate, old men, who experience nothing of the costs and difficulties of family life?

FEAST DAY OF FANNY CROSBY

Frances Jane Crosby (March 24 1820 – February 12 1915) usually known as Fanny Crosby, was an American lyricist best known for her Protestant Christian hymns. A lifelong Methodist, she was one of the most prolific hymnists in history, writing over 8,000 despite being blind since infancy. Also known for her preaching and speaking, during her lifetime Fanny Crosby was one of the best known women in the United States.

To this day, the vast majority of American hymnals contain her work [but not the 1982 Episcopal Church Hymnal]. Some of her best known songs include "Blessed Assurance", "Jesus Is Tenderly Calling You Home", "Praise Him, Praise Him", and "To God Be the Glory". Because some publishers were hesitant to have so many hymns by one person in their hymnals, Crosby used nearly 100 different pseudonyms during her career.

From The Lectionary.

Alas, we should have at least a few of Fanny Crosby's many hymns in our hymnal.

PRAYER

O God, the blessed assurance of all who trust in you: We give you thanks for your servant Fanny Crosby, who, though blind from infancy, beheld your glory with great clarity of vision and spent her life giving voice to your people’s heartfelt praise; and we pray that we, inspired by her words and example, may rejoice to sing of your love, praising our Savior all the day long; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God in perfect harmony, now and for ever. Amen

Thanks to James on Facebook for the inspiration to note the feast day.

UPDATE: Paul (A.) reminds me that Fanny's hymns are included in 'Lift Every Voice and Sing II', which has a place in many Episcopal Churches.

Ann Fontaine points us to the post on Fanny Crosby at Speaking to the Soul.

'LOVE FREE OR DIE' - BISHOP GENE ROBINSON'S STORY WINS AT SUNDANCE

The trailer for the film is not yet available, so far as I know, and I'm late taking note of the film's award at the Sundance Film Festival.

Ann Fontaine at The Lead:

Sundance Film Festival announces awards:

Winner of the U.S. Documentary Special Jury Prize for Grace Under Pressure:

Love Free or Die, directed by Macky Alston

The film is about what happened after the Episcopal Church in New Hampshire came under fire for electing an openly gay man as its bishop.

From Beyond the Box:

BTB caught up with Alston at a mass held at St. Luke’s Church on Sunday in Park City, where LGBT leaders showed up to support and discuss the film.

Daniel Fienberg offers a splendid review at HITFIX:

Macky Alston's "Love Free or Die," playing in the US Documentary competition at the Sundance Film Festival, begins as a portrait of Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop in the Anglican Church.

Even if "Love Free or Die" had been content to just remain focused on "the most controversial Christian in the world," it would have had a solid story to tell. Despite facing death threats and opposition within his own church, Robinson is a sensitive, funny and altogether inspirational subject.

The thing that elevates "Love Free or Die" -- which I will eventually type as "Love Free or Die Hard" in this review -- is that in its final act, the documentary leaves Robinson almost entirely and, without belaboring its point, it becomes the story of change, a moving look at how even a rigid church with centuries of entrenched methodology can begin a slow shift towards inclusiveness and equality.

Please read the entire review, especially the final paragraph.

THE POWER OF A WIFE'S LOVE

A man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.

There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral.

Don't blame me. Blame Doug.

I posted the joke on Facebook, and one of my friends there said, 'A spatula to the knuckles for Doug,' but I would never say that, though the humor at the expense of a poor, dying man is cruel, cruel, cruel.

A SHOUT-OUT TO ROMAN CATHOLIC BISHOPS

From the comments to an earlier post at Wounded Bird:

Tobias Stanislas Haller said...

I keep trying to remind these folks of their beloved Double Effect doctrine, but they clearly don't want that as a way out. The actual use of contraception in the cases in point are so far removed from their actual agency or action that it should not pose any moral qualm at all -- except for the reality that they don't want it no how, no way, by none!

church sponsors, supervises, etc. school > school provides health insurance > health insurer covers contraception > insured takes advantage of coverage and has contraceptive prescription > person fills prescription and > uses contraception. Only the last step is (under their concept) morally objectionable.

Sounds good to me. How about you, bishops?

Tobias Haller blogs at In a Godward Direction.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY - JFK, CATHOLIC PRESIDENTS, THE VATICAN.

Whatever success resulted from John F Kennedy's carefully crafted efforts to allay fears about a Roman Catholic president being influenced by the Vatican has now been washed away. I'd be uneasy with either of the two Roman Catholic Republican candidates in the White House, because I fear their policies may be influenced by the Vatican.

NOTE: My thought is not entirely original. I read similar thoughts on more than one site on the internet.

UPDATE: A Facebook friend informs me that the Vatican is ALREADY influencing the White House. Sigh...

WAY TO AGE CORRECTLY

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

(Oh, just hush-up and send this one on).

What could I do? Don't blame me. Blame my brother-in-law.

Photo from Wikipedia.

TO THE ROMAN CATHOLIC BISHOPS: STOP CRYING PERSECUTION!

The Vatican

I've spoken of the heavy-handed tactics of the Roman Catholic Church in which the leaders and their true-believer followers, including Rick Santorum and the converted Newt Gingrich, accuse the Obama administration of waging war on Roman Catholics. I've written about their practice of deception by omission in never mentioning that they already provide health insurance coverage for contraceptives in 28 states that mandate coverage. Whatever reasoning the bishops use to square the coverage with their consciences, I'd suggest that they apply that same reasoning to the remaining 22 states and stop crying, 'Persecution!' Enough already!

However, should the bishops continue to prefer deceptive, political power plays to telling the truth, I recommend that the prelates and their true-believer followers visit their fellow Christians in countries in the Middle East and Africa, where real persecution of Christians is happening. Perhaps then they'd stop their pathetic braying. The group generates more heat and noise than their true numbers warrant. What they do is shameful.

Remember that RC bishops stand in obedience to the pope, a foreign head of state. Why should a foreign head of state have such great influence in the processes of government in the US?

For more light on the subject, I refer you to IT's post at The Friends of Jake and Rmj's post at Adventus.

Picture from Wikipedia.