PUNOGRAPHY

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

 Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity . I can't put it down.

 I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer battery arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

I apologize.  These puns are the wurst.   And how about this naughty cartoon?  I don't have the nerve to publish it here.

MITT ROMNEY - UN PETIT BIJOU

The little jewel is set in an interview with Mitt Romney by Mark Halperin:

Halperin: You have a plan, as you said, over a number of years, to reduce spending dramatically.  Why not in the first year, if you’re elected — why not in 2013, go all the way and propose the kind of budget with spending restraints, that you’d like to see after four years in office?  Why not do it more quickly?

Romney: Well because, if you take a trillion dollars for instance, out of the first year of the federal budget, that would shrink GDP over 5%.  That is by definition throwing us into recession or depression.  So I’m not going to do that, of course.

And yet we've heard shouts to the president from Republicans, with even some Democrats chiming in, to balance the budget, "Faster, faster, faster!" in the midst of a sluggish recovery from a deep recession.

Soon to be heard in a campaign commercial to reelect Obama?  I hear the cries already: "Not right! Not fair! Taken out of context!"  How long as it been since rightness, fairness, and quotes taken in context went out the window in campaigns for public office?   

H/T to Charles Pierce, and thanks again for the use of his mantra: " Fck the deficit.  People got no jobs.  People got no money."

THE GIFT OF COMPASSION

A person who, in your judgment, is irritating, disdaining, unacceptable, frightening, is probably a person who needs help, perhaps is crying for help. If you know enough to be irritated by them, you likely also know enough to help them, certainly not to hurt them more. Draw from the grace of your own memory about rescuing, saving them, through the gift of compassion.

-Br. Curtis Almquist
Society of Saint John the Evangelist

Bro John Anthony posted in St. Cuthbert's Cottage

BLOGGER HELP

Click on the image for the larger view.

Can anyone tell me how to get rid of the list of "Links to this post", which are not really links at all?  Some days there are 8 or 10 links supposedly from "Of Course, I Could Be Wrong", and when I click the link and go to the post, there is no link to my post in any of the posts at OCICBW.  Each time MadPriest puts up a post, I get the link appended to one of my posts, to which there is no link.

I can delete the links, but it's tedious to do 8 or 10 a day, and I never know when they will turn up or to which posts they will be attached.  When I turn on the "Hide" function for "Backlinks" in the settings, they do not appear, but then I screen out all legitimate links from other blogs.

Am I making sense?

WE ARE ALL SO PROUD

The bright and good-looking lad pictured above, my grandson Bryan, will graduate from high school tonight.  His Mom, Dad, Gramdpère, and Gramdmère are very proud of him.

Congratulations and blessings, Bryan!

That's Gino looking adoringly at Bryan.

PS: I'm sure his brothers are proud, too.

BISHOP ALAN COOKS THE NOT-SO-VERY-ROTTEN EGG

(1) “This isn't, of course, about gender. Perish the Thought.”
This assertion is a lie. It is, and it always was. Discriminatory is as discriminatory does. It is not for the discriminator to judge the matter, based on their intentions, but those discriminated against, based on what actually happens. All else is illusion.

(2) “This is about theology not discrimination.”
This assertion is a lie. However you tart it up, Trevor Huddleston showed us years ago, discriminating is actually a theological assertion. Imagine, as I have attempted sincerely to do, that there is a theology that justifies treating women, against their will and calling, as inferior. I can't conceive of such a thing, but let's suspend disbelief for a moment. What is the difference between that noble theology and cultural prejudice dressed in voodoo? At no time in the past five years has anyone showed me. All that unites reactionaries in this matter seems to be a cultural prejudice against seeing women in positions of authority, reinforced by a reactionary subculture. It is every bit as much drawn from the contemporary world’s values as progressive aspiration. It’s just drawn from the reactionary quarter of them.

Read the entire excellent post.

If the amendments to the legislation on women bishops from the House of Bishops were not so tragic for the Church of England, I could view the entire enterprise as farce.  42 of the 44 dioceses have spoken that they want women bishops.  General Synod has voted for women bishops, and yet the senior bishops in the church do not get the message.  As Bishop Alan says:

Many of our senior men probably thought on Monday that all they were doing was giving the women what they wanted whilst being as nice as possible to the other lot.

It appears to me that the House of Bishops plays a game of chicken with the members of Synod, but perhaps, as Alan says, many of them are merely clueless. The diocesan synod votes and the vote in GS should have put the senior bishops a bit more in touch with the rest of the church.

From Thinking Anglicans:

The Synod has no power to amend the legislation further but can adjourn the Final Approval debate and invite the House of Bishops to reconsider the amendments that they have made. If such an adjournment motion were passed the House would have to meet again-and would at that point have power to make further amendments- before the Final Approval debate was resumed. An adjournment motion in July would mean that the further meeting of the House and the resumption of the Final Approval debate would have to happen at a later date. The earliest that the General Synod might be able to conclude the Final Approval Stage in that eventuality would, therefore, be in November.

There you have it.

IMPORTANT WOMEN'S HEALTH ISSUE

* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of  your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
- Dizziness
- Nausea
- Vomiting
- Incarceration
- Erotic lustfulness
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Loss of virginity
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas. 

Thanks or blame to naughty Suzanne for this one.

GOD'S REVELATION HAPPENS NOW

Presume that God’s revelation is happening all along the way, not just in “sacred” moments but in every moment, every day. Practice attentiveness.

-Br. Curtis Almquist
Society of Saint John the Evangelist

Bro John Anthony posted in St. Cuthbert's Cottage

"DAZZLING BLUE" - PAUL SIMON

Another video of a song from Paul Simon's latest and lovely album titled So Beautiful or So What.

"Dazzling Blue"

Sweet July and we drive the Montauk Highway
And walked along the cliffs above the sea
And we wondered why, and imagined it was someday
And that is how the future came to be.

Dazzling blue, roses red, fine white linen
To make a marriage bed

BREAKING: OBAMA BORN IN HAWAII

Krazy Ken Bennett, Secretary of State in Arizona, received verification that Obama was honestly, really, truly, positively born in Hawaii and will place his name on the ballot.

Hawaii State Registrar Alvin Onaka sent the document Tuesday confirming the information on Obama's birth certificate, such as the Honolulu hospital where he was born and the names and ages of his parents.

Well, Bennett may be satisfied, but will the doubts of the Birthers be allayed?  Of  course not!   You see, the conspiracy is so vast that the Hawaiian authorities are in on it.


Picture from Wikipedia.