I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting,
"13...13....13...13."
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Someone poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting. "14...14...14...14....".
Sick, sick, sick. And I laughed and laughed.
From crazy Doug.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Stuff You Never Wanted To Know About Aging
Click on the pictures to enlarge.
From Ann, courtesy of Louie Crew.
Testing For Deep-seated Tendencies
From the Church Times:
CANDIDATES for the priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church are to undergo psychological screening that will identify “deep-seated homosexual tendencies”, the Vatican has announced,
Gay men thus identified will be deemed unsuitable as seminarians, even if they have no difficulty in remaining celibate, says the document from the Congregation for Catholic Education, Guidelines for the Use of Psychology in the Admission and Formation of Candidates for the Priesthood.
Such screening, it says, would help avoid what the report calls “tragic situations” caused by psychological defects, an undoubted reference to the damaging and costly number of sexual-abuse cases exposed in recent years.
This is such a vicious load of crap, that I'm left outraged and nearly speechless, but not completely. Since the document is not yet fully translated into English, should we give the Vatican the benefit of doubt that the "tragic situations" do not refer to child abuse by gay priests, but rather to CHILD ABUSE BY PRIESTS WHO HAVE DEEP-SEATED TENDENCIES TO ABUSE CHILDREN?
Cardinal Zenon Grocholewski, who presented the report, is reported to have described homosexuality as “a deviation, an irregularity, a wound” even for celibate gay men.
More from Cardinal Grocholewski in The Catholic Herald:
Cardinal Grocholewski, prefect of the Congregation for Catholic Education, said "The candidate does not necessarily have to practice homosexuality. He can even be without sin. But if he has this deeply seated tendency, he cannot be admitted to priestly ministry precisely because of the nature of the priesthood, in which a spiritual paternity is carried out. Here we are not talking about whether he commits sins, but whether this deeply rooted tendency remains."
He added: "It's not simply a question of observing celibacy as such. In this case, it would be a heterosexual tendency, a normal tendency.
"In a certain sense, when we ask why Christ reserved the priesthood to men, we speak of this spiritual paternity, and maintain that homosexuality is a type of deviation, a type of irregularity, as explained in two documents of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
"Therefore it is a type of wound in the exercise of the priesthood, in forming relations with others. And precisely for this reason we say that something isn't right in the psyche of such a man. We don't simply talk about the ability to abstain from these kinds of relations."
There is so much wrong with Cardinal Groch's statement, that I don't know where to begin. His words are cruel, insulting, and unpastoral in the extreme. What about his responsibility to exercise "spiritual paternity" for the gay men in his church?
Thus, a priest is not capable of "spiritual paternity" unless he is robustly heterosexual, a true manly man. Of course, the idea of Jesus as exercising "spiritual paternity" doesn't seem quite trinitarian to me. I don't know about you, but I've always thought of Jesus as more of a brother than a father.
In the light of recent history, will the candidates be tested for deep-seated tendencies to child abuse? Why the focus on homosexuality? In the US church, which is already suffering from a severe shortage of priests, and where the estimates of the percentage of gay priests range from 10% to 40%, the result will be a large drop in the numbers of candidates considered suitable for seminary and, I would think, a large drop in the numbers of men who present themselves as candidates.
It seems to me that "something isn't right in the psyche of such a man" as Cardinal Groch and the men in the Vatican who make these decisions. Of course, I could be wrong.
Now, I'll stop, because I seem to be babbling.
One more thing. What about shallow-seated homosexual tendencies?
H/T to Lapin.
CANDIDATES for the priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church are to undergo psychological screening that will identify “deep-seated homosexual tendencies”, the Vatican has announced,
Gay men thus identified will be deemed unsuitable as seminarians, even if they have no difficulty in remaining celibate, says the document from the Congregation for Catholic Education, Guidelines for the Use of Psychology in the Admission and Formation of Candidates for the Priesthood.
Such screening, it says, would help avoid what the report calls “tragic situations” caused by psychological defects, an undoubted reference to the damaging and costly number of sexual-abuse cases exposed in recent years.
This is such a vicious load of crap, that I'm left outraged and nearly speechless, but not completely. Since the document is not yet fully translated into English, should we give the Vatican the benefit of doubt that the "tragic situations" do not refer to child abuse by gay priests, but rather to CHILD ABUSE BY PRIESTS WHO HAVE DEEP-SEATED TENDENCIES TO ABUSE CHILDREN?
Cardinal Zenon Grocholewski, who presented the report, is reported to have described homosexuality as “a deviation, an irregularity, a wound” even for celibate gay men.
More from Cardinal Grocholewski in The Catholic Herald:
Cardinal Grocholewski, prefect of the Congregation for Catholic Education, said "The candidate does not necessarily have to practice homosexuality. He can even be without sin. But if he has this deeply seated tendency, he cannot be admitted to priestly ministry precisely because of the nature of the priesthood, in which a spiritual paternity is carried out. Here we are not talking about whether he commits sins, but whether this deeply rooted tendency remains."
He added: "It's not simply a question of observing celibacy as such. In this case, it would be a heterosexual tendency, a normal tendency.
"In a certain sense, when we ask why Christ reserved the priesthood to men, we speak of this spiritual paternity, and maintain that homosexuality is a type of deviation, a type of irregularity, as explained in two documents of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
"Therefore it is a type of wound in the exercise of the priesthood, in forming relations with others. And precisely for this reason we say that something isn't right in the psyche of such a man. We don't simply talk about the ability to abstain from these kinds of relations."
There is so much wrong with Cardinal Groch's statement, that I don't know where to begin. His words are cruel, insulting, and unpastoral in the extreme. What about his responsibility to exercise "spiritual paternity" for the gay men in his church?
Thus, a priest is not capable of "spiritual paternity" unless he is robustly heterosexual, a true manly man. Of course, the idea of Jesus as exercising "spiritual paternity" doesn't seem quite trinitarian to me. I don't know about you, but I've always thought of Jesus as more of a brother than a father.
In the light of recent history, will the candidates be tested for deep-seated tendencies to child abuse? Why the focus on homosexuality? In the US church, which is already suffering from a severe shortage of priests, and where the estimates of the percentage of gay priests range from 10% to 40%, the result will be a large drop in the numbers of candidates considered suitable for seminary and, I would think, a large drop in the numbers of men who present themselves as candidates.
It seems to me that "something isn't right in the psyche of such a man" as Cardinal Groch and the men in the Vatican who make these decisions. Of course, I could be wrong.
Now, I'll stop, because I seem to be babbling.
One more thing. What about shallow-seated homosexual tendencies?
H/T to Lapin.
RUN! RUN!
To save the economy - in 2009 the government will start deporting all of the weird people.
I started crying when I thought of you.
Run, my friend, RUN !!!!
What can I say....someone sent it to me! I'm not going alone.
From my dear friend and admirer, Doug.
I started crying when I thought of you.
Run, my friend, RUN !!!!
What can I say....someone sent it to me! I'm not going alone.
From my dear friend and admirer, Doug.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Obscene
From Bloomberg:
American International Group Inc., the insurer whose bonuses and perks are under fire from U.S. lawmakers, offered cash awards to another 38 executives in a retention program with payments of as much as $4 million.
The incentives range from $92,500 to $4 million for employees earning salaries between $160,000 and $1 million, Chief Executive Officer Edward Liddy said in a letter dated Dec. 5 to Representative Elijah Cummings. The New York-based insurer had previously disclosed that 130 managers would get the awards and that one executive would get $3 million.
“I remain concerned, as do many American taxpayers, that these retention payments are simply bonuses by another name,” Cummings said in letter responding to Liddy.
I remain concerned, too. That's our money. When is a bonus not a bonus, but simply a retention payment? In this job market, are the managers threatening to quit?
American International Group Inc., the insurer whose bonuses and perks are under fire from U.S. lawmakers, offered cash awards to another 38 executives in a retention program with payments of as much as $4 million.
The incentives range from $92,500 to $4 million for employees earning salaries between $160,000 and $1 million, Chief Executive Officer Edward Liddy said in a letter dated Dec. 5 to Representative Elijah Cummings. The New York-based insurer had previously disclosed that 130 managers would get the awards and that one executive would get $3 million.
“I remain concerned, as do many American taxpayers, that these retention payments are simply bonuses by another name,” Cummings said in letter responding to Liddy.
I remain concerned, too. That's our money. When is a bonus not a bonus, but simply a retention payment? In this job market, are the managers threatening to quit?
Blagojevich - Corruption On A Grand Scale
From MSNBC:
CHICAGO - Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich embarked on a "corruption crime spree" and tried to benefit from his ability to appoint President-elect Barack Obama's replacement in the U.S. Senate, federal officials said Tuesday.
At a news conference in Chicago on Tuesday, U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald called it a sad day for the citizens of Illinois and alleged that the governor tried to "auction off" the Senate seat "to the highest bidder."
He said the alleged behavior "would make (Abe) Lincoln roll over in his grave."
Blagojevich had been arrested hours earlier and was released later in the day after posting a $4,500 bond.
That seems a small bond, but I suppose he's not violent and not likely to flee. He sounds a bit nuts to me. His hairstyle should have been a dead giveaway that all was not well. He was not invited to speak at the Democratic Convention, so it seems that many knew that he was someone to avoid.
Corruption on a scale grand enough to arouse deep disgust.
CHICAGO - Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich embarked on a "corruption crime spree" and tried to benefit from his ability to appoint President-elect Barack Obama's replacement in the U.S. Senate, federal officials said Tuesday.
At a news conference in Chicago on Tuesday, U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald called it a sad day for the citizens of Illinois and alleged that the governor tried to "auction off" the Senate seat "to the highest bidder."
He said the alleged behavior "would make (Abe) Lincoln roll over in his grave."
Blagojevich had been arrested hours earlier and was released later in the day after posting a $4,500 bond.
That seems a small bond, but I suppose he's not violent and not likely to flee. He sounds a bit nuts to me. His hairstyle should have been a dead giveaway that all was not well. He was not invited to speak at the Democratic Convention, so it seems that many knew that he was someone to avoid.
Corruption on a scale grand enough to arouse deep disgust.
Revised Baby Boomer Song Titles
Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.They include:
Bobby Darin ---
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Herman's Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
Ringo Starr ---
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
The Bee Gees -- -
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
Roberta Flack---
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash ---
I Can't See Clearly Now.
Paul Simon---
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores ---
Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
Marvin Gaye ---
Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
Procol Harem---
A Whiter Shade of Hair.
Leo Sayer ---
You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
The Temptations ---
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
Abba---
Denture Queen.
Tony Orlando ---
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
Helen Reddy ---
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
Leslie Gore---
It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.
And Last but NOT least:
Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again
With thanks to Ann.
Bobby Darin ---
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Herman's Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
Ringo Starr ---
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
The Bee Gees -- -
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
Roberta Flack---
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash ---
I Can't See Clearly Now.
Paul Simon---
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores ---
Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
Marvin Gaye ---
Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
Procol Harem---
A Whiter Shade of Hair.
Leo Sayer ---
You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
The Temptations ---
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
Abba---
Denture Queen.
Tony Orlando ---
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
Helen Reddy ---
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
Leslie Gore---
It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.
And Last but NOT least:
Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again
With thanks to Ann.
Baby Jesus Has A Blog!
You must, you simply must go read "Hi! I’m Baby Jesus. Hope you enjoy my blog!" at Macleans.Ca.
I always knew that Jesus had a sense of humor, and here is written proof. Even as an infant! If reading the post doesn't put you into the Christmas spirit, you're hopeless.
H/T to MadPriest.
I always knew that Jesus had a sense of humor, and here is written proof. Even as an infant! If reading the post doesn't put you into the Christmas spirit, you're hopeless.
H/T to MadPriest.
Obama On Gen. Shinseki: "He Was Right!"
Obama's appointment of General Eric Shinseki to head the Department of Veterans Affairs is great news. He was one of the few in the high ranks of the military who were courageous enough to stand up to Rumsfeld and Bush publicly and say that 300,000 or more troops would be needed to invade Iraq. For his honesty and courage, Rummy pushed him out. I was outraged at the time. I can't think of anyone better suited for the job of serving our veterans. There's a sweet justice at play here with Obama's appointment of Shinseki, indicating a complete break with the Bush maladministration in the government's care and treatment of veterans.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Oh, Noooo!
The new monk is assigned to copy the old texts by hand. Noticing that he'll be copying from copies and not from the original manuscripts, he tells an elderly monk, "If there is an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all the subsequent copies."
The elderly monk agrees and goes to the cellar with a copy to check it against the original. Hours go by and nobody sees him. Concerned, the new monk searches for him in the cellar. Hearing wailing, he finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books. Looking up, he sobs, "The word is celebrate."
From M. in Texas. (Not Mike)
The elderly monk agrees and goes to the cellar with a copy to check it against the original. Hours go by and nobody sees him. Concerned, the new monk searches for him in the cellar. Hearing wailing, he finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books. Looking up, he sobs, "The word is celebrate."
From M. in Texas. (Not Mike)
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