GOTTA PEE (A QUICK READ)

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the woman's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: "These girls nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said..... 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'"

From my daughter. I don't know what happened. I tried to raise her right.

Brueggemann DVD Series

I promised to get information for you on the Brueggemann lecture series on DVD that we are using in our adult Sunday school class. The title is Countering Pharaoh's Production-Consumption Society Today, and it can be purchased at Living the Questions.

Ominous New Poll

From The Huffington Post:

In a potentially ominous sign for the presumptive Democratic nominee, a new poll shows Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) trailing far behind G.O.P. standard bearer Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz) among voters who identify themselves as racists.
....

The poll, conducted by Duh Magazine, suggests that Mr. Obama faces an uphill battle in his effort to win the votes of dyed-in-the-wool bigots.

"We wanted to know, why isn't Barack Obama closing the deal among racists?" said Charles Plugh, editor-in-chief of Duh. "The answer seems to be, because he's black."

Blame Doug for the link.

On Whether McCain Was In "A Cone Of Silence"

During the forum at Saddleback Church this past Saturday, John McCain, who appeared second for questioning, was not supposed to have been able to hear the questions and answers during Obama's time. Below is a transcript of one section of McCain's appearance.

WARREN: Let's deal with abortion. I, as a pastor, have to deal with this all the time, every different angle, every different pain, all of the decisions and all of that. Forty million abortions since Roe v. Wade. Some people, people who believe that life begins at conception, believe that's a holocaust for many people. What point is a baby entitled to human rights?

MCCAIN: At the moment of conception. (APPLAUSE). I have a 25- year pro-life record in the Congress, in the Senate. And as president of the United States, I will be a pro-life president. And this presidency will have pro-life policies. That's my commitment. That's my commitment to you.

WARREN: OK, we don't have to beleaguer on that one. Define marriage.

MCCAIN: A union -- a union between man and woman, between one man and one woman. That's my definition of marriage.

Could I -- are we going to get back to the importance of Supreme Court Justices or should I mention --

WARREN: We will get to that.

MCCAIN: OK. All right. OK.

WARREN: You're jumping ahead...

Thanks to Paul (A) for the link to AmericaBlog. As John Aravosis says:

Yes he is. But the only way to jump ahead is to know what's ahead. Then again, John McCain was a POW, so how dare we suspect him of cheating. Oh that's right, he cheated on his wife. But I'm sure he wouldn't cheat on a debate question. Wife, sure. Debate question? For McCain, that would be immoral.

John McCain wants to get back to where he's never been. That seems right in character.

The Garden Of Love

"Pity" - William Blake, ca.1795

The Garden Of Love

I went to the Garden of Love,
And saw what I never had seen;
A Chapel was built in the midst,
Where I used to play on the green.

And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
And 'Thou shalt not' writ over the door;
So I turned to the Garden of Love
That so many sweet flowers bore.

And I saw it was filled with graves,
And tombstones where flowers should be;
And priests in black gowns were walking their rounds,
And binding with briars my joys and desires.

William Blake - Songs of Experience


Both Fr Scott and MadPriest posted on preparing to preside at funerals. Funerals can't be the easy part of clergy ministry. I think that, too often, we don't properly appreciate the work of our clergy, those in parish work, those in the trenches with their people.

As I was feeling a little somber, William Blake came to mind. He was somewhat of a mad mystic, misunderstood and mostly unappreciated in his time. Perhaps that's why I'm quite fond of his poems and art.

Image from The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

UPDATE: Father David Heron had seven funerals last week and word of two more to come today. Lord, have mercy. Lord, give Father David strength.

Can The Country Take This Kind Of Satire?

Probably not. But I'm going to link anyway to the latest Obama scandal at The Onion. I was going to copy the picture, but I thought that would be TOO MUCH.

Note to the uninitiated: The Onion is a satirical online magazine.

Rick In The Saddle At Saddleback

As I've said before, I hate that the candidates think that they must do appearances at forums like the one arranged by Rick Warren of "Purpose Driven" this-that-and-the-other-thing book fame and pastor of the mega-, mega-, mega-church called Saddleback. Moral character, principles, good judgment, and a modicum of intelligence are important for a candidate, but I dislike intensely the focus on religious faith. That should not be part of the equation. Why didn't the candidates follow Nancy Reagan's advice and "just say no"? Because they couldn't; that's why. In today's climate, it's not possible for a politician to say "no" to that sort of event here in the US.

Let me say up front that I did not watch the show. I meant to, but I forgot. That's probably for the best. Rmj at Adventus has an excellent post about the forum, ($500 to $2000 a ticket) or whatever it was, at Rick Warren's church. I dismissed any thought of writing about this event after reading his post. It's not short, (Rmj's posts hardly ever are) and he puts you to work with links and all, so be prepared, but you won't be sorry if you take the trouble. I started off laughing at the ridiculousness of the entire event and at some of the quotes from the forum. Then, I ended up wanting to cry. What in the hell kind of craziness are we engaged in this political season?

Brueggemann? Oh, Yeah!

Folks, I am not a morning person. It's not getting out of bed that's difficult, although that is becoming harder, but it's getting presentable enough to meet the public in the great world outside my house. Grandpère is accustomed to my scary morning appearance, but others are not.

Our adult Sunday school class begins at 9:15, that's AM. It was tough, but I arrived this morning at the parish hall with a few minutes to spare. I had to go, because my rector arranged to introduce us to a series of lectures by Walter Brueggemann, Professor Emeritus at Columbia Theological Seminary. He said that the parish congregation consists of conservatives and liberals and those in between, with most of the congregation in the middle. He was offering this series to represent the more liberal side. (My rector may not know it, but I'm closer to a radical than a liberal.)

In recent classes, we've had the more conservative view presented to us, the Alpha series from Trinity Church Brompton, in London, and N. T. Wright's Simply Christian. I did not like the Alpha series. The DVDs were shown during Lent, and I stayed with the course as a Lenten discipline and just to be able to speak with some authority about them, in the event the subject came up.

The N. T. Wright series was fine, but the motivation to rush to get to the parish hall at 9:15 AM petered out, and I did not complete the entire course. I don't agree with Bishop Wright's views on a number of issues, but I had no objection to what I saw of the teachings in the series.

The offer of Brueggemann for Sunday school was, at least in part, for me, so I felt I had to make the effort. Others had recommended his books to me, including my blog friend, Doorman-Priest, but I never got around to buying one. I was actually looking forward to the class.

Well, am I glad I went! For me, Brueggemann's lecture was like a glass of cool water, after I'd been wandering in the desert. He was terrific - definitely my cup of tea, right down my alley, every possible positive platitude that you can imagine. Plus, we had a lively and interesting discussion along with the lecture. Brueggemann is subversive, and I love him. And what a learned scholar! What brilliant insights! I remember one statement he made, right at the beginning, and I hope I'm getting this close to right, "The Old Testament is a work of imagination and memory." He went on to compare the Israelites' period of slavery in Egypt to our present day society, reminding us that in both situations, productivity was primary, but that those who produced did not profit from their production. Goals were set for the producers, and their only reward was to have the bar raised for them to produce even more, from which they would never profit.

I do not know even the name of the lecture series, or any details to give you. I searched online and did not find the series of lectures that we watched, partly because I did not know what I was looking for. I will get that information later and pass it on.

Brueggemann's denomination is the United Church of Christ. If I were not a member of the Episcopal Church, and if I did not desire with all my heart a church with frequent Eucharists, and if I did not love the liturgy in the Book of Common Prayer, I could be attracted to the UCC. Yes, that a lot of "ifs". Then, too, it's a congregational church, and, as much grief as bishops can sometimes give us, I prefer a church with a line of authority to having the congregation itself being the final authority.

All in all, a lovely day. Thanks be to God.

Good News About William

My daughter reports that William is much better. The swelling has gone down, he's itching much less, and he slept like a rock. Thanks be to God, and thanks to all you beautiful people who sent prayers and good wishes his way and my way. We are most grateful. I am greatly relieved and breathing easier today.

Seattle Sells Toilets - Finally

From USA Today:

City officials have finally gotten rid of five high-tech self-cleaning toilets that cost Seattle $5 million — but sold online for just $12,549.

The city installed the modernistic stand-alone toilets four years ago, hoping they would provide tourists and the homeless a place to do their business while downtown. But the automated loos became better known for drug use and prostitution than for relief.

The reality is that the city of Seattle spent $5 million (minus $12,549) to set up cubicles for the use of prostitutes and their patrons and drug buyers and sellers.

Public toilets work in other cities. I wonder why not in Seattle. They seem nice enough, as public toilets go.